The Worrisome Stage

Conversation Two:

For this second meeting I was very excited until the moment I got an email from Frances saying, I lie not, “How are you going?” I later found out that she was ultimately if our plans were still on for that evening. When we first met, she did not talk all that much out of the four of us, and I thought that was just because she was reserved. The email I received proved otherwise. It was actually because her English was not the strongest which worried me because I did not know how dinner would go. The first time we met, we mostly talked about the basic question about school, family, friends, etc. However, this second time I had no idea what we would talk about. On top of that, I extremely awkward when it comes to making new friends. I am not sure Frances even considered me as a friend at that point.

As dinner approached, it was pouring rain outside. I thought to myself, this is a great start, considering my worries already coming into this. Elle and I got there on time and ordered our food and decided to eat because they did not show up until twenty-five minutes past what we had agreed on. Something that I noticed was strange was that they both decided to not eat their food even though we sat there and conversed for a bit. I do not know if they did that because Elle and I had already eaten and that, in their culture, they did not eat in front of people if not everyone was eating at the same time. Not to worry, the awkward night continued.

At the last dinner we went to, Frances had mentioned that she had a boyfriend and we talked about him for a little bit. Naturally, the second time we met I asked how they were doing. Cindy and Frances both, simultaneously, burst out in laughter. Elle and I looked at each other completely confused as to why they were laughing; we had found it a normal question to ask, especially as girls. Finally, after they could manage to speak in between laughs, Frances asked, “Why would you ask that?” Now, I felt like a complete idiot wondering if I had said something disrespectful. Needless to say, I did not contribute much to the conversation after that. It was strange to observe that they found that instance so hilarious and Elle and I were sitting there in a state of awkward confusion.

The Nervous Stage

Conversation One:

            I will be completely honest. Before this first conversation I felt that I would be completely out of my element. The only thing helping me was the fact that I was going with Elle. If it were to be just Frances and me, I could tell you exactly how it would have gone—awkwardly. Meeting new people and making conversation (aka small talk) is not my forte; not to mention, it makes me a nervous wreck. To add on top of that, it is someone that may or may not be able to communicate efficiently with me. If I wouldn’t have been able to understand what she was saying, then my automatic go-to is to nervously laugh. However, I could not do that in this case because God forbid she said something that was not meant to be laughed at. All these thoughts were running through my head consistently the day before and the day of the dinner I was going to. To say the least, I was apprehensive.

            As dinner time approached, there was another thing weighing on my mind as I was waiting. I had no idea whether or not Frances was a girl or a guy. My first instinct was to look up their Chinese name on Google and see if it was a girl or guy’s name. That did not help either. Like Frances, the Chinese name was also one that could go both ways. The next thing I did was email her asking what they were wearing so that I could identify them. Frances emailed back saying “a black t-shirt and a red cap.” At that point, I was almost certain it was a guy. Later on, Elle and I were walking to Dutch’s (which I was excited about because I had not had it all semester) and I saw a person with a red cap and a black shirt on. It was a girl. I had it so wrong.

            We sat down for dinner and Elle’s partner, Cindy, and Frances, who are coincidentally friends, both asked me what they should get. I said they should get the burgers, but I warned them that they were pretty big and that I usually do not finish them. Much to my surprise, Frances, who is quite petite, ate the entire burger. I was in shock. The conversation flowed greatly; there were points of awkwardness, but that was to be expected. We talked about each other’s families and boyfriends. Also, we talked about their home and whether they liked it better here. They both said, almost instantaneously, that the food back home was much better than here. They also mentioned going back to China one day. Overall, it was a great dinner and made me excited for the next time that we would meet.